10.26.2005
"You are not enough people."
In the introduction to God Bless you, Dr. Kevorkian, Kurt Vonnegut tells us what he has learned about discord in relationships:
OK, now let's have some fun. Let's talk about sex. Let's
talk about women. Freud said he didn't know what
women wanted. I know what women want. They want
a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to
talk about? They want to talk about everything.
What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and
they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them.
Why are so many people getting divorced today?
It's because most of us don't have extended families
anymore. It used to be that when a man and a woman
got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to
about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell
dumb jokes to.
A few Americans, but very few, still have extended
families. The Navahos.The Kennedys.
But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just
one more person for the other person. The groom gets
one more pal, but it's a woman. The woman gets one
more person to talk to about everything, but it's a man.
When a couple has an argument, they may think it's
about money or power or sex, or how to raise the
kids, or whatever. What they're really saying to each
other, though, without realizing it, is this:
"You are not enough people!"
I'm grateful to live in a world with Kurt Vonnegut's ideas in it. He shakes things up in my mind and the pieces fall into place better afterwards.
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Kurt Vonnegut is a god. Actually, he might be considering how much he's drunk in his lifetime (and he's not dead yet!)
And then there's seventy-odd years of suicide sticks to account for as well. Must be a god. Or at least a hero (in the pantheon-sense)
I've heard that before, but it wasn't attributed to Vonnegut (sadly). It's so, so, so true!!! Like I said over at Kitty's, I'm away from family on purpose, but until I developed a network of solid, family-like friends here (which took a few years) it was maddening for both of us, mr. E as well as me.
Eclectic,
I'm glad you and mr E have been able to create a family-like network. I think I'm still learning how.
I'm glad you and mr E have been able to create a family-like network. I think I'm still learning how.
I had a great time partying with Shameless Agitator's extended family this weekend. I'm working on a proper post about my adventures in Iowa as an honorary member of the Agitator clan.
(Vonnegut's vision played out right there in front of me. There were women talking about everything. And men telling dumb jokes. And little children being treasured by all.)
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(Vonnegut's vision played out right there in front of me. There were women talking about everything. And men telling dumb jokes. And little children being treasured by all.)
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